Holiness

Want to see God in worship? In the sermon on the mount, Jesus says that happens for those whose hearts are pure.

I am fascinated by the word “holiness.”

There’s a denomination that bears that name. I have a stereotype in my mind that probably isn’t fair. Or kind. And it may color my thinking about the concept of holiness to have such an unfavorable bias. I regret this.

There’s a Puritan association with the word. It seems antiquated, oppressive, and unwelcome. But how can that be helpful? Holiness is a substantial biblical concept. Few passages are as clear, convicting, or intimidating as 1 Peter 1:15 and 16:

But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 

For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

Peter is referencing three different passages from Leviticus. In other words, this isn’t a one-off comment. 

So if holiness--being like God who is holy--is such a priority for us, what do we do with those negative associations?

First, I like to think of holiness in two ways, things we enter and things we exit.

ENTER

We choose to care for the poor. We love (that’s a verb) our enemies. We give the benefit of the doubt. We face difficult circumstances with faith—not in ourselves, but in the Christ-in-us. We engage in generosity. We are creative, especially toward beauty. We embrace those far from God. In short, we try to look like the active side of God who came for us.

EXIT

We choose to leave behind the things of the world. This is the more familiar side of holiness. It’s the side that seems judgmental and puritanical. But the teachings of scripture here are clear too. Perhaps even clearer. Wasn’t it Mark Twain who said, “It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it’s the parts that I do understand.” 

Examples of this exit?

Colossians 3:8 — “Get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.”

Ephesians 5:3-4 — “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you.”

There are just as many, if not more examples of the kind of Godliness we should enter:

Galatians 6:2 — “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Romans 12:9-11 — “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.

A beautiful summary verse comes from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, “you have been called to live in freedom… But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.”

Sounds like holiness to me. And if you want to see God, seems holiness is the way to get there.

Be holy, even as He is holy.

7 Ways I CRUSHED IT as a Worship Pastor Dad

A couple of months ago I shared a blog called 10 Ways I BLEW IT as a Worship Pastor Dad. I heard from a few folks who were helped. I also heard from a few who thought I was unfairly hard on myself. But it was honest. I still wish I'd done those things differently. 

Still, there are a few things I am happy I did. None of the seven were original with me, but I am so very grateful for the memories; the results.

I believe my stunning daughters, Catherine and Emily, would agree with both lists. Importantly, they would say that not all of the ones in this list seemed like good ideas to them at the time. But they were formative in the right ways.

Here goes...

1) We taught them who they are. We used scripture verses and conversations to remind them that they are made in the image of God. They are adopted daughters--Princesses of the Most High King. Their feelings of insufficiency were always lies with smoke on them. (From the fiery pit of hell.) One of the ways we did this was to find supporting verses of scripture and write them on their bathroom mirrors with EXPO markers. They really thought it was stupid. Until they discovered it was priceless. 

2) We supported their dreams. Catherine found "her thing" quickly--and it was dance. She was a member of the Champions Elite All-Star Dance Team. (And part of a dance studio, and later, the high school dance team). She danced hip-hop and pom. The Champions coach (Andrea Masters, now Andrea Oney) assured us that the dancing would be age-appropriate and that as a pastor I would not be ashamed or embarrassed by the dancing. She was right. I was, instead, often moved to tears seeing Catherine's team excel at precision, at bringing each other along, and at winning well. Oh, and losing well, too.

Emily was more diverse in her interests. She loved horses, so she got a horse one Christmas. (Thanks to a great bonus my wife got at work!) But we made sure she REALLY loved horses first. So she spent months mucking stalls. She told us she kind of liked the smell. (Yuck!) That lasted a few years. And she loved art, so we went to art museums. Then there was tennis. I'd try to play with her some, but I was horribly out of shape. (See the aforementioned BLEW IT blog.) Emily moved on to photography, something she still loves to do. Oh, and both girls loved movies. We spent a lot of time at theaters and bought a bazillion Disney DVDs. Whatever their dream (one at a time, by the way), we supported it with everything we had.

3) Daddy / Daughter Overnights. This is one of my favorite things we did. I totally stole the idea from a choir member in my first full-time church. Each daughter got 2 days and 1 night with me. Just me and one girl. Every summer. They'd pick the city (within an hour or two of us) and they'd plan the trip with me. What would we do? They picked. (Always included going to see a movie. Sometimes 2 or 3!) Where would eat? They picked. (IHOP, Don Pablos Mexican Kitchen, and pizza were all givens.) The hotel had to have a pool so we could swim. And the other things were often around those dreams I mentioned above. This overnight trip was where quality time got a boost. It's where we talked about boys and what parts of their bodies they'd be gawking at. It's where we dreamed. We laughed. And we remembered that we would always be daddy and daughter.

4) Chaperoned Field Trips. Because of the flexible nature of a minister's schedule, I could go on just about every trip they took, whether it was a half-day or 3 days. I got to learn alongside them. I got to be the biggest/best pool toy at the hotel at Space Camp. I got to know their friends. I got to see them growing. I got to be a "normal dad," not a ministry dad. I got to know other parents. This was a blast. 

5) Drove them to / from school. One of the saddest parts of parenting is one of Catherine's happiest. When she could drive to school, the nest started emptying. Even though we never had a long drive--10 minutes or so--those minutes to anticipate and debrief the school day were precious. Until the last time I dropped them off, the last words before they exited the car were always an out-loud prayer. If there was a big test, either academically or socially, the prayer might have been a few seconds longer and a good bit more intense. But we always ended the drive and started the school day with prayer. 

6) Established wide, solid boundaries. This is more of a philosophy than an activity, but I believe it is worth passing along. When I get to have conversations with young parents, this comes up a lot. The boundaries we established were VERY difficult to move. They were not soft. They were rock solid. And because we were so familiar with the number of PKs (Pastor's Kids) that rebel, we tried to give them boundaries as wide as we could. So when Catherine was 14 and wanted to get her belly button pierced, I took her and held her hand. I could have been hard-nosed about it and told her it wasn't appropriate for a ministry family. But by allowing her to stretch into a barely on-the-edge activity, one that we didn't find prohibited in Scripture, I was the cool dad. The boundary was wide. On the other hand, when they bumped into the boundary, the result was discipline. Always. I told both daughters countless times: the more we trust you, the wider the boundary. When you violate the boundary, you lose trust. So be trustworthy and you will have a giant playground. Disobey, lie, deceive us and you will have a tiny sandbox. 

7) Cultivated Independence. I was surprised when Emily shared this one with me. Not because they aren't independent, but because she recognized it as a "win" for us as parents. As she texted me, "you made us do stuff on our own (which was super annoying as a kid, but I guess it made us more independent or whatever)". Like a mommy bird has to push the baby bird out of the nest, parents have to nudge their kids to do stuff they don't think they're ready for. My goal was to develop them into fully independent, confident, competent young women. They are both so severely independent that I sometimes I feel like I overdid it!

Well, there you go. It would be fun to see some of the things YOU did if you're old enough to have parented well. Or that you are glad your parents did if you're too young to be "mostly finished" raising your kids. Please share with the rest of us so we can learn too!

10 Songs That "Made Me" as a Worship Leader (requested topic)

My friend, pastor Aaron Frasier, responded to my plea for blog ideas that might help readers. At first it sounded -- because I'm still plagued by pride -- like a self-centered subject. But then I sought some input from Aaron, and came up with some of the reasons behind what these songs taught me. These are 10 songs that made me a better worship leader. There are a few sentences with each, talking about what I learned that has been helpful to me... and which I believe has helped me lead others well in worship.

[Click title to hear see/hear songs.]

1. In the Garden -- This was my grandmother's favorite hymn. When I plan worship, I remember that someone's grandma is in the room hoping we sing their favorite hymn too. I'm also deeply grateful for the heritage of worshipers that have gone before me.

2. Victory in Jesus -- The first solo I sang in church. I was in middle school, and as part of "Youth Week" I got to shadow our worship pastor (Barry Cavin) and then stand in his shoes on a Sunday morning. I sang this great hymn of our faith in that role. I'm thankful for a church that risked giving leadership opportunities to 7th-12th graders.

3. It Is Well with My Soul -- Every song has a story. Some of them are stunning, even transforming. This is one of those stories. I learned from this great hymn the power of knowing what is behind the lyric, and the power of sharing it with those we lead. To learn more about the story, watch THIS.

4. In Christ Alone -- Unlike any congregational piece I'd known before the year 2000, this magnificent modern hymn introduced me to the idea of unleashing the drama of the gospel through lyrics. Using the third verse to "paint" the resurrection is one of my favorite tools. And it has helped me look for other opportunities to let the music make the lyric come alive.

5. Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer -- It is so fitting to have two Getty songs in this post. Keith has influenced me greatly. This particular song, less popular than many of his, taught me two things: to make songs "my own" and to seek songs that connect with every generation. (It IS possible!) I wrote an arrangement of this modern hymn, and that gives it unique power in my ministry. I know it deeply.

6. 10,000 Reasons -- Matt Redman has challenged me in many ways over the years. The line in this lyric, "sing like never before" gave me pause. At first blush it sounded to me like this meant every time had to out-do every time before. But after reflecting on it further, I decided the brilliance of that phrase is to remember that we are never entering the presence of God in the same way twice. So we sing like we are coming to God THIS time, not like we were last time or wish we were next time. It joins the timeless and the timely. 

7. Who You Say I Am -- My pastor seldom, VERY seldom, suggests a song to me. But he made an off-hand comment to me about how he thought our congregation would embrace this worship song. I wish I'd listened faster. He was right. Good pastors know their congregations well. Worship leaders are wise to listen to their pastors when it comes to song selection.

8. King Forevermore (God the Uncreated One) -- I first encountered this song at the SING! Conference, led by it's writer, Aaron Keyes. I was one of the older people in the room, and this modern hymn--which few of us had heard before--immediately connected with the overwhelming majority of people there. A new song can connect with young people even if it's written in an older form. 

9. Is He Worthy -- This is one of my favorite songs of the last decade or more. It is based strongly on Revelation 5. It is antiphonal, a worship style that I thought had gone the way of the Ford Pinto. My friend Martha Christian introduced it to me at a local worship event and I was UNDONE! It is honest. It is unusual. The new song can employ the old thing and connect in new ways. This is important for us to remember as we walk into coming days.

10. The Blessing -- This is the newest song on the list. In many ways, there are elements of what I learned in the first nine songs wrapped up in this one. It's scripture set to music. It's power is undeniable. Listening to an interview with the writers, they said that when they wrote it, it was like heaven gave them a peek into what was happening there and gave them a taste for us to use on earth. Interestingly, this is very much like what G. F. Handel said when he was writing the "Hallelujah Chorus." God is so generous to give generation and generation a peek into the worship of heaven so we can get a taste of it on earth.

I'd love to know one of the songs that made you as a worshiper or worship leader. Leave a comment!