Supernatural Tricks of the Trade?

These aren't really tricks. They're more like keys. But they are definitely supernatural.

1) Thanksgiving. It may be impossible to be filled with thanksgiving and not have it overflow into worship. If you will cultivate gratitude in your heart, you will worship more. And if we cultivate it in the hearts of our people, they will worship more. Why in the world do we "reserve" our thanksgiving texts and songs for mid and late November? "Enter His gates with thanksgiving" should be the mantra of the worship leader!

2) Awe. Seldom are we more moved to worship than in moments of awe. Seeing the ocean for the first time... or the hundredth. Glimpsing the grand canyon. Seeing beauty of any kind that is greater than you can imagine. Or remember. I remember the intense feeling of sacred-ness when entering the old National Cathedral of Canada. And seeing the expansive countryside in east Africa. Awe evokes worship. Psalm 65:8 helps so much...

Those who live at the ends of the earth
stand in awe of your wonders.
From where the sun rises to where it sets,
you inspire shouts of joy.

And remember, the early church was characterized by this: "A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders." (Acts 2:43)

3) Spirit. Nothing trumps the Spirit. He's like the Ace of spades in a game of spades. Time a bazillion. We learn by the Spirit. We lead by the Spirit. We lead in the Spirit. We welcome the Spirit. We love by the Spirit. If you were going to study only one "topic" in the New Testament to empower your worship leading, Spirit would be the best focus I know. After all, the Father is seeking those who will worship in Spirit and in Truth.

I recognize “tricks” is a terrible moniker. These are not tricks. God doesn’t play tricks on us, and heaven help us if we play tricks on one another. But they are supernatural… above the natural…keys. These are the things God has given us to ensure that our worldly worship has a heavenly dynamic.


What would you add?

Why would they come Back?

Those of us who have been having in-person gatherings again after our churches were shut down for COVID-19 have been wondering... will they come back?

How many?

When?

Who won't?

It seems wise, in these days, to ask what could bring them back?

Two generations ago it would've been a sense of commitment. The nature of that word has certainly changed.

A generation ago it might have been great preaching and great music. But now that's all available online.

For this generation, I'm convinced the only reason they will come back is for the Presence.

The word Presence makes me think of the Bread of Presence in the Tabernacle. It makes me think of the incarnation, where Jesus left heaven to be present with humanity. It makes me think of the Holy Spirit who is always fully present within us.

So... how do we do our part in our worship gatherings that will make room for God to do His part?

First, let's remember just how important this question is. We are not the Holy Spirit. It isn't our job to make people feel something. To make people do something.

Second, let's remember that the question still leaves us stuff to do. Nearly every time God does something, He does it through people. People like you. Like me.

So we do at least three things:

1) Pray. Pray without ceasing. Pray for the Spirit to manifest His Presence.

2) Plan. Choose songs prayerfully. Since God inhabits the praise of His people, plan services so praise can happen. Be sure to include lyrics that are directed from the hearts of worshipers to the heart of God.

3) Evoke. This word simply means to draw out. So do that. Don't provoke--that's pushing. Evoke--that's leading. Draw out of your people what is already in them--praise for their Savior.

One more giant thing--lead in and by the Spirit. In 1 Corinthians 14 Paul talks about praying and singing with the SPIRIT and with the MIND. You're already giving thought to your leadership or you wouldn't be reading this. Now surrender your heart to the Spirit and let Him "fill and thrill" you. Let Him guide you. Let Him love you. Let Him rule in your heart. And encourage others to do the same.

Worship on the other side of this Coronavirus epidemic may actually be better if we do these things faithfully. Can you imagine?!

10 Ways I BLEW IT as a Worship-Pastor Dad

I think have been a pretty good dad. Maybe some day I'll share a post about 10 Ways I CRUSHED IT as a Worship-Pastor Dad. But for today, I'd really like some of you who are still parenting children in your home to learn from my mistakes. My regrets. So let me steady myself for the beating you're about to give me in your mind as you read... Ok. I'm ready.

10 Ways I Blew it As a Worship Pastor-Dad (in no particular order):

1. Self care - I regret that I didn’t take care of myself. I was morbidly obese and largely inactive. The consequences of that ranged from as minor as... not being able to ride a roller coaster with my girls to as major as... poorly modeling what it looks like to be a healthy human.
2. Modeling time with Jesus every day - I wish y daughters would have “caught” me with my Bible open or my head bowed. I spent time with Jesus more days than not--most years. But seldom in front of them.
3. I was afraid of my kids - this may only apply to us people pleasers, but I really struggled with push back. There were often times when I would hold back what I felt was right because I was afraid our girls wouldn't like me. Wouldn't want to be with me. For a few months, for example, I would use an EXPO marker to write verses of scripture about our identity in Christ on their bathroom mirror. They thought it was dumb. I stopped.
4. Family devotionals / Scripture conversations and memorization - In my head this was always too grand, too complicated. In reality it could’ve been so simple. Share a thought I'd read that day in the Bible or in a book. Asking my sweet bride or our daughters what they had noticed about God that day. We could have had a memory verse for each week and repeated it when we ate together. I was overwhelmed at the the thought of doing something complicated.
5. Praying for them daily. About their future. For theIr husbands to be. I did pray. I still do. I wish I’d prayed more and more specifically.
6. Too much surviving the moments; not enough thinking long term. - This may be a byproduct of aging, but when I was younger, which means when our girls were little, I often just wanted to get through the day, the project, the event, or the weekend. I wish I knew then what I’ve learned in the last few years from Orange. We get 936 weeks. That’s it. Big picture first.
7. Money management - I said yes way too often, but more than that, I said yes without consulting the Father. I wish we'd prayed about our finances, prayerfully prepared a budget. And I wish we'd included our daughters in those conversations early on.
8. Loving their mom insufficiently - This deserves to be a book instead of a tiny chunk of a blog. I so wish I’d loved Jackie better. Moment by moment. Hour by hour. Week by week. Season by season. Year by year. In big ways, and in small ways. In faithfulness with my eyes. If I loved Jackie in the first 8 years of their lives as much—as well as—I have the last 8 years of our lives, I’d have been a better dad. The best thing a parent can do for their child, at least when it comes to teaching them about relationships, is to love their spouse well.
9. Talked about church more than Jesus - this sort of makes sense. I work at a church. Jesus does stuff at church. But I wish I’d done better at making our lives more about Jesus and keeping the distinction clear between the Bride and the Bridegroom.
10. Going to bed late and sleeping late - this is where it all could have started. I wish I’d started going to bed EVEN WHEN I WAS A CERTIFIED NIGHT OWL—at 9.30 and getting up at 5.30. The time I’ve had by myself in the early morning in recent months has been amazing. So much of what I already talked about might have been different if I’d been the first one up by an hour every day.

So that's my top 10. (There are more, but I can only take so much of a beating!) I'm curious, is there one you'd share too? Let's help young parents to better than we did!

Pace of Change in Church

I like to go fast.

I like to drive fast, think fast, eat fast, and lead fast. 

If I have what I sense is a God-sourced dream, I want it to come true now--if not sooner.

Churches move sssssllllllloooooowwwwww...

They like to drive cautiously, think thoroughly, extend the feast, and follow slowly.

If they hear a God-sourced dream, they want to savor it and work out all the kinks before diving in.

See a challenge here?

Maybe you're like me. Or maybe you are in a church with someone like me in leadership. 

I'm sorry.

Here's a phrase that I've found helpful in recent years, as I've tried to slow my leadership roll:

Change at the pace of pastoral care.

For example, there's an older couple in our church. I doubt seriously they'll ever read this post, but if they do--great! I didn't really know them at all. I'd been in this ministry role for about 3 years. She was having surgery. It was my turn to go to the hospital. We spent nearly a half-day together, the three of us. I heard their love story. I heard about their health struggles. I met two of their adult children. We laughed. We cried. We prayed. We hugged. It was a better-than-average hospital visit; we connected.

The next time I mentioned a need we had in the church, for something un-budgeted, they were very supportive. 

Change at the pace of pastoral care.

Now, let's check our motives here. I did not go see these folks in the hospital so they would vote for a need in my ministry. That's manipulative. In fact, I'd say it's downright gross. And they didn't support me because they were indebted to me for simply doing my job. That's scorekeeping, something 1 Corinthians 13 says love doesn't do.

I extended pastoral care. They received it. There was a connection at the heart level, experientially. It's simply what is supposed to happen when we pastor people well. 

And the more our hearts are knit together in this way, the more I want to slow down--because my heart is for them. And the more they want to help out--because their heart is for me.

And so if you are struggling with the pace of change in your ministry, maybe the key is to focus on pastoral care instead of change. Find yourself face to face in spiritual care so you can be shoulder to shoulder in spiritual work.

I am so grateful for the ways my pastor, Tim Harris, has taught me this. I sure wish I had been able to learn it 30 years ago!

Is Intimacy a Dirty Word?

I wouldn't call "intimacy" a dirty word, but I'd call it dangerous.

Still we need it.

I maintain there are (at least) 3 different kinds of intimacy, and keeping the borders strong between them can revolutionize your church-life: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

First, there's physical intimacy. This is reserved for romantic relationships. It is in degree, of course, from the brush of a shoulder to the marriage bed. When you're single, dating, exploring... you should experience some--but not all--physical intimacy. When you're married, still dating your spouse, and still exploring that one relationship... you should experience all physical intimacy. Keep the boundary strong between single and married rock solid. And if you're single, keep the boundary for yourself and your future spouse. (Hebrews 13:4)

Second, there's emotional intimacy. This exists at some level in all relationships, of course. This is a "feelings only" sort of intimacy. Those feelings can be platonic, like between siblings or parents and children. It can also be blazing fire, like between newlyweds or fighting friends. (Fighting is one of the most intimate things we do.) Emotional intimacy is powerful and, yes, dangerous. If you're married, keep emotional intimacy in check between you and anyone and everyone of the opposite sex. This doesn't mean you can't feel for someone, it just means that those feelings must continue to be defined by the relationship. You and I have feelings of compassion and care for friends who are women. But the boundary must be strong to keep the feelings there. When we sense that those feelings may be trying to test the boundaries... that's a red flag, waving strong. We have to be careful. Stir our affections for our wives again. Recognize that the spiritual attack of the enemy is involved. God has made a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13), and we MUST find it. 

Third, there's spiritual intimacy. Sometimes this one feels like emotional intimacy. But never must it cross into physical intimacy. Spiritual intimacy is the only one of these three that can be shared between members of the same sex. In fact, it's often better that way! If I cultivate a spiritual friendship with another guy, like my friend Tog Goodson for example, it is easier to disclose battles, sins, victories, and discoveries without risking an emotional affair, or obviously, a physical one.

All three require vulnerability. And the vulnerability you demonstrate must be appropriate to the definition of the relationship. Be vulnerable with your friends... your fellow believers. But beware of how vulnerable you are with members of the opposite sex. It's a minefield. The mines are real. They can blow your life up. Your enemy hopes they will.

Here's the giant challenge: every time we avoid intimacy we invite distance. And so our spiritual connections remain minimal, which stunts our spiritual growth. The testimony of scripture, especially the New Testament, is overwhelming. We grow up into Christ better together. We wither spiritually when we are alone. (Hebrew 10:24-25) And loneliness is one of the greatest epidemics of our day. 

And here's the giant hope. When God was far away, He came near in the person of Jesus Christ. And that Christ lives in you! (Colossians 1:27) There is hope. The one who demonstrated intimacy in astounding ways--in clear boundaries and self-giving love--is living Christ's life through you. You can trust others like Jesus trusted Peter, James, and John. And if you are betrayed by someone you trust, Jesus knows how that feels too. Judas was, after all, one of his twelve closest friends.

My encouragement to you today is two-fold. First, clarify and strengthen your boundaries. Second, pursue the right kind of intimacy within the right kind of relationships. You will be more like Jesus when you do. And your life will have a Jesus-shaped impact.

Intimacy isn't a dirty word at all. It's one of the most beautiful in the world!