Monday, June 24, 2019

How to Win Every Argument

This post is born out of regret and sorrow. More about that later.

I was raised in a family where dialogue and debate was welcome. My mother (82) and I still “argue” regularly on the phone. This is part of the way I am naturally inclined. 

Sort of like a cross between Fight Club and a college Forensics team, I have been raised to win every argument.

And I often do. Except in winning, I have actually lost.

You see, I’m convinced that the teaching of Jesus is that we should value being in right relationship over being right. I have failed at following His teaching 1,000 times. This year.

Maybe you all don’t share this struggle, but I suspect a few of you do.

Pick the argument — worship style, song choice, leadership decision.

Or the more mundane — supper menu, lunch location, TV remote.

If you win the argument but lose the relationship, you’ve lost.

I only know this because of how much damage control I (and those around me) have had to do when I win. Or, more accurately, when I lose.

The biggest regrets I have in the last 5 years — in fact, nearly every regret — has to do with winning the content and losing the relationship. I have been forgiven of the sin, but I still walk in the consequences. And my heart often breaks as I encounter those who have been pushed away by my need to be right.

I think I’m better than I’ve ever been at this, but—and this is key—I need to ask people around me. It’s seems a prime blind spot in my mirror distorted by pride. Perhaps, if this is a struggle for you, the battle would be better fought by bringing some people into your circle who will tell you the truth.

Here’s the bottom line:

The way to every argument is to walk away with a winning relationship.

Monday, June 17, 2019

Teaching the Team a New Song


In my last post I mentioned how important it is for the worship leading team to know the song deeply the first time you share it with your congregation. Perhaps a few of these tips can help you accomplish that goal.

  1. Determine who is leading. For most of us, this is the worship pastor or worship leader in a room. (Kids / Youth / Primary / Secondary) Whoever is leading should teach the song they way they’d like to do it.
  2. Find/Share teaching resources. Identify for your team — and link them to Planning Center  (or another online tool) or email out — everything you have time to find. Some websites offer printed music for most individual instruments (www.lifewayworship.com and www.praisecharts.com are two of my favorites). They also provide chord sheets, and sometimes even rehearsal tracks for individual instruments. If you are open to multi-tracks, those can be great rehearsal resources. And YouTube is a treasure trove of tutorials. Some of the band members who are in the recording may offer “how to” videos for rhythm instruments. It is amazing how many ways there are for team members to thrive!
  3. Communicate expectations. At our place that means (and I stole this, who stole it from someone else) “practice is personal; rehearsal is relational.” Practice before rehearsal. Our team comes to “Worship Prep” already knowing the song. This is essential.
  4. Start with a clear vision. What do you hear / see as the finished product? Is it exactly like the recording? Do you have the resources to pull that off? If not, what will you adapt? Think about melody, harmony, rhythm instruments, color instruments, etc. The clearer your vision, the better the outcome.
  5. Consider a “song map.” I learned this tool from Doug Gould. It’s a simple tool, but can be helpful for the singers, the band, and the tech team. It’s sort of like the sequence of a song, but with some added detail. At the conclusion of the post is a sample song map for Chris Tomlin’s “I Stand Amazed."
  6. Finally, make music! The level of preparation we just walked through will make the learning / rehearsing process more enjoyable and effective.
  7. Start with a run thru. Get through the whole song. Pay attention to weak spots, which are likely to be “out of the normal” progressions and transitions, and make a mental note of where they are.
  8. Do it again. For most musicians, they will fix things on their own before you address them. If they make a mistake twice, there’s a chance they need some help. But let them try to get it right first. This will build their confidence and expedite the learning process.
  9. Help the team succeed where they struggle. Are different chords are being played at the same time? Is there a lack of connection between the bass player and drummer? Are the vocals not getting the melody line right—or the harmonies? Only address 2-3 concerns at a time. Then make music again.
    1. Think rhythmically — “the pocket.”
    2. Think harmonically — the right chords at the right time and in tune.
    3. Think dynamically — look for variety, based on lyrics.
    4. Think melodically — does everything make the melody easier for the congregation to sing?
  10. Repeat #9 until you are 80% pleased.
  11. Then run the song again. See how it goes. Repetition is the best teacher, but repeating the wrong thing is a terrible way to learn. So balance the repeating and the fixing.
  12. Celebrate! Along the way, celebrate every great moment. When it clicks, celebrate. Every person on your team wants to know they are doing well. They aren’t likely to ask for it, but they crave affirmation and encouragement. What gets rewarded gets repeated, so reward success and progress.


That's an overview, of course, and a generalization. Now... what would you add? What have I missed?



Monday, June 10, 2019

Introducing New Song to Your Congregation

Every worshiping community has an appetite and a pace for adding songs to their worship vocabulary. 

College ministry? They would probably be happy with a new song every week or two!

Senior adult ministry? Why would we ever want to learn a new song?

Okay… those may be unfair exaggerations. The senior adults at our church are open to new songs, and our college students are among those who love it when we sing songs found in the old hymnal. But you get the point.

If you are struggling to get your congregation to sing new songs, let me share some thoughts that may help:
  1. Make sure you know the heart of your congregation. Otherwise, you’ll introduce the wrong songs. The goal is for their hearts to sing, their minds to sing, their lips to move!
  2. The less accustomed your folks are to learning new songs, the longer it will take for new lyrics to get into their bones. In the old “Hymn of the Month” plan, it was a 4-5 week process. This may be a good place for you to start. It may also be a bit much.
  3. For those of us accustomed to learning new songs, the “magic formula” seems to be this sort of rhythm:
    • A. Week 1 — introduce the song as mostly presentational, inviting folks to sing as they are learning. In some more traditional church settings, this could be a solo, a kids/student ensemble, or an adult choir.
    • Week 2 — come right back to the song and invite people to sing from the get-go.
    • Week 3 — give the song a break. This seems to do something neurologically that I’m not smart enough to explain.
    • Week 4 — bring the new song back around. By now, most people will know and sing the song.
    • NOTE: Refer to #1 above; all of this is useless if it is a song that doesn’t resonate with the collective heart of your people. If it connects with their hearts, it’ll be hard to take it out of a frequent rotation. If it doesn’t connect, put it away. They’re not worshiping; they’re indulging the worship planner.
Before you start programming the song for your congregation, there are some steps that can be helpful:
    • Teach it to music folks ahead of time: kid’s choir, student choir, adult choir.
    • Make sure those leading the song know it really, really well. I’ve failed here too often. It can’t seem new to the folks on stageor the uncertainty will cripple those off the stage.
    • If you use recorded music before and after services, put the new song in the playlist for a month beforehand. 
    • Share the song on social media, especially the church page and the page of whoever will lead the song. Ask others on the worship team to do the same.
      • A word of encouragement here: focus people on the lyrics, not the style. For churches in worship division or transition, this is especially significant. It’s hard for the critic to argue with great lyrics; it’s easy for them to argue with the preference of style.
      • As you celebrate fabulous new lyrics, connect them to Scripture. I find this helpful for myself, those on the platform, and those in the seats.
One more word about how many and how often: It’s too contextual for me to call.

But it is essential for you to call; it’s your context.

This is where the worship leader gets to be an amateur sociologist. Ask people what songs they already connect with. I don’t ask what songs people like; that’s a bit too consumeristic for me. But I will say, “Hey, tell me a song we’ve introduced in the last year or two that has really resonated in your heart.” Or I will ask, “Is there an old song you’ve really missed singing?” And when they answer the follow up question is golden! I usually respond something like, “Oh, I love that one! Tell me why you miss it?” 

It’s like being a private investigator, uncovering the heart-song of your congregation.

What if there aren’t any songs that seem to connect your people with the heart of God?

Then it is time for some serious spiritual formation from the preacher and key leaders about what worship is and can be for your congregation.

I could go on for a long time about this important dynamic. I’m curious though; what helped you with this? As a worship leader or a worshiper?