Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The I in Leadership, part 3


Welcome to the middle of a 4-part series about "self leadership" an area in which I'm hoping to grow this and every year: Spiritual Leadership, Personal Leadership, and Professional Leadership.

I'd like to share a little bit more of what I'm learning about leading myself personally.

First, you should know this is my weakest area of self-leadership. I'm writing out of weakness and failure, not success or strength.

Among my personal goals this year are to be more active, to lose 50 pounds, to love my wife and adult daughters better--given our specific circumstances, to gain control over my calendar, and to meet with at least a dozen people I'd like to learn from.

It's that last part I'd like to share with you, just in case it might serve your journey too.

I asked around, trying to identify worship pastors and pastors that are just a few years ahead of me and doing a great job (I'm nearly 50, so I was looking for anyone older than me but not retired.) I compiled a list from my own network and asked 2 or 3 colleagues that are strongly networked as well. The first two I've contacted are Rory Noland (formerly of Willow Creek, sought after author and speaker) and Mike Harland (head of Lifeway Worship).

I've offered to take them to lunch, ask questions, and listen. Their choice of location. I'm  traveling to where they are, and I'm picking up the tab.

My three questions may be very different from questions you would ask. They are reflective of my own areas that I need to grow in and my stage of life:

   1) How do you lead yourself well? (Especially time management, self-control, etc.)
   2) How can I be a great husband in this season of life? (Entering empty nest)
   3) What makes for a great worship pastor, and how can I take my next step?

How did I arrive at these questions?

Simple, really. I have identified limitations to my own personal development and then crafted questions that I hope will help me break through those barriers.

I do some of the "time management" gimmicks well. I tend to deal with tasks/paper only once, I block out time to do the things that are important to me, I prioritize based on importance more than urgency, etc. And in many areas of my life I exhibit healthy self-control. But not enough areas. And especially at the cross-roads of these two areas, I fail to lead myself well. In other words, if I could exhibit self-control when it comes to my time management, I would lead myself better personally.

My second question comes out of unique circumstances that are too complex to bore you with. Regardless, I think this is an essential question to ask at every transition in life--with no kids, or when kids aren't in school yet, or in school, or teens, or moving out, or entering retirement, etc. Our relationships change as our circumstances change. I want to know how to love my wife like Christ loves the church in THIS season of our marriage.

A huge part of my personal life, because of the nature of my job, is connected to my professional life. It's the nature of ministry. And I love that. But it does make my last question relevant to personal self-leadership as well as professional self-leadership. These folks I'm meeting with know this as well. And I want to learn from them.

Your questions are likely to be quite different from mine, and honestly, I'd love to see them! Why don't you leave a comment and share 2 or 3 questions you'd ask someone who is just a little farther down the path? Better yet, why don't you identify a handful of those folks right now and offer to buy their lunch? Not only will it help you lead yourself well, it will deeply encourage those you invite.

Next time--self-leadership professionally. I'm looking forward to it!