25 Ways to Love Your Team Well

I hope you’ve read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It has helped me in my marriage, in my parenting, in my friendships, and in my ministry. According to Dr Chapman, people give and receive love in different ways. For some, like my wife, it is acts of service. For others, live my firstborn, it is receiving gifts. For still others, like our younger daughter, it is quality time. And for you it might be words of affirmation or physical touch.

Here’s my suggestion: find out the love language of each member of your team and then, every few weeks, do something that helps them feel loved. I’ve taken each of those 5 love languages and give you some ideas to get started:

1) Gifts - find out what your folks appreciate

a) favorite drink

b) favorite drive-thru place

c) favorite sit down restaurant

d) favorite fun activity (movies, kayaking, sporting event)

e) favorite sports team (college, pro)

2) Quality Time - find ways to be with these servants while they're not serving

a) breakfast once a quarter

b) coffee/coke/dessert once a quarter

c) lunch once a quarter

d) dinner at your home

e) visit in their home

3) Words of Affirmation - use both private and public means of encouragement

a) write a thank you note every day

b) celebrate a person in your ministry every week on social media

c) mention someone's faithfulness from the platform (when appropriate) once a month

d) honor a team member in every practice

e) ministry spotlight and then share it on social media

4) Physical Touch - being careful not to intrude, and being extremely respectful of gender boundaries, affirm team members by:

a) a hand on the shoulder, especially when they are struggling

b) a side-hug when welcomed, especially for members of the opposite sex

c) a man-hug (handshake, draw 'em in, pat 3 times on the back) from guy to guy

d) a shoulders-high hug for folks who are grieving or in crisis

e) at the right moment and in the right place, be more affectionate with your spouse in front of your team--a kiss on the cheek, a tender hug

5) Acts of Service - anticipate and meet the needs of those who receive love this way, but don't waste your time doing these things for those who don't

a) have their music ready for rehearsal or service, right song, right arrangement, right key, in the right order

b) surprise your guitar player or bass player by tuning their instrument before rehearsal or service

c) have a bottle of water or pencil already waiting on their stand

d) surprise your graphics operator by doing the part of their job they like the least

e) show up early to help your sound tech set up the stage