Calendaring by Priority

I've always been pretty attached to my calendar. Back in the day it was a "Week-at-a-Glance" paper product. 

Well, not always actually. There was a time that I tried to remember everything. But one day I totally forgot to meet someone for a lunch meeting. It was important to me, but slipped my mind at the worst time.

And that day I committed, "NO MORE!"

So now I spend time every week, and often 3-4 times a week, simply managing my calendar. While that may sound cumbersome, it actually gives me great freedom. I don't have to try to remember stuff.

I tell my calendar what I want to do, then my calendar tells me what to do. It's wonderful!

Here's a glimpse into my approach. I sure hope it helps you!

I calendar recurring events first — study time, gym time, worship services, weekly rehearsals, staff meetings, etc.

Then I calendar big chunks — vacation, prayer retreats, writing days, long-range planning sessions.

And before I get over-booked, I calendar other family events third — date nights, family day-trips, activities with the kids, etc.

And then--and this is important--I calendar goals. Some of this may have been done already, but I want to make sure I get the work that matters most on my schedule. This is where writing days, prayer retreats, long-range planning etc. help. But I will also create a (very rough) project plan by assigning times on my calendar to work on chunks of my goals.

All done! 

Well, not really of course. Because I don't do JUST the things I want to, feel led to do. I also get requests from others. Meetings, conferences, and fun stuff. So once you have YOUR work on the calendar, then you can accept or decline the requests of others. If I someone asks for a time I have blocked out, then I can see if it is realistic to move what is already showing up to an empty spot (aka margin) to make room for their request. I want to honor their time and request, but I also want to honor the ways I've felt led to work.

In fact, this just happened to me this weekend. I was invited to lead worship for an event that sits squarely in the center of the things I am passionate about. So I looked over my Google calendar for the days before and after, the weeks before and after, and decided that while it would require some sacrifice and effort, it was worth it. 

That's freedom caused by structure and calendar-awareness. 

Now, time doesn't stand still and plans often change. So we have to manage our calendars. Based on the things I've learned through the years, here's what I suggest:

• Prepare your calendar annually.
• Review your calendar weekly.
• Then live out your calling from your calendar daily.

A newer practice a friend suggested to me has a great early returns. I’ve started taking time every other month to do long-range planning. I revisit my calendar from 3-18 months out as part of that exercise. While it’s early in this new discipline, I think it is helping a lot.

This is SO different from the earlier part of my career. And these days, my recent days, are by far my best days. I’m convinced that goal setting and intentional calendaring have a great deal to do with that.

Now don’t be Pharisaical with your calendar, but be strong and courageous. Whether you are in the marketplace or the ministry, God has called you to do stuff. Being intentional helps us do the right stuff.

I'd imagine you, like me, would like to echo the words of Jesus in John 17:4: "I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do." Discerning goals and managing time seem the best ways to do that, at least in our day.

Now... share with each other: What calendaring hacks have you discovered that help you?

I Was Stuck

Early in my ministry career, I was driven to do everything all the time. I was stuck in the mindset that everything I thought was something that needed to be done. And everything that someone else thought I needed to do... well that was something I needed to do to.

That was back in the day. You know, in the 90s.

Who am I kidding... I am still that way!

But something has helped me far more than I expected. For the last six years I've been part of a staff team that does goals and shares them with each other. Setting goals has helped me narrow my focus from doing everything all the time to doing the more important things with my best time.

This process has served me in more ways than I can even articulate. Maybe a glimpse into the way I walk through this annual exercise can help you--whether you are in full-time, part-time, or volunteer ministry. They could help in school years, retirement years, or any career.

One more thing you should know: because my pastor is brilliant he gives us great freedom to choose our own goals. He seems to believe that as long as we have alignment as a staff in the big picture, we can set our own priorities in each area of ministry.

Since I think better in structure, I decided to create some for my goal setting. I find it extremely helpful to think in three broad categories:

• Spiritual - To be more like Jesus
• Personal - To act more like Jesus
• Professional (church) - To help people walk with Jesus

Of course the boundaries between these categories are not fixed. The healthiest among us are the most integrated. So the goals I set spiritually affect my personal and professional life. Whether or not I thrive in my professional life impacts my personal and spiritual journey. And so on.

Over the years that (intentionally) first category has included things like:

• Take 4 prayer retreats in a year
• Focus on specific spiritual practices (prayer, confession, journaling, fasting, etc.)
• Read the entire Bible aloud

And some of the things that made the personal list were:

• Lose 50 pounds
• Write 2 articles for publication
• And one of my favorites -- meet with 6 guys a few years ahead of me, asking 3 questions. One of these questions is always about how to be a better husband or father. I've already written about that particular practice. You can read more about it here.

And within the professional realm:

• Create and host a worship conference
• Hold a Worship Ministry Summit with key leaders and a guest clinician
• Create and distribute a worship ministry handbook

It is impossible for me to describe how the growth in all three of those areas of my life in the last 6 years has outpaced the same in any previous season of my life. 

Now to be transparent, I seldom meet all of my goals. In fact, I usually only hit about 70% of them. But 70% of carefully thought through goals has gotten me much farther than 100% of not having goals.

I'm eager to see, what are some things that have helped you with goal setting?

How to Worship When Worship Is Hard (from a very special guest)

By special guest blogger, Tricia Brown

“Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshipping what’s right with God.” -author, Mark Batterson

On Tuesday, September 18, 2018, my twenty-year-old son, Brandon, died. Just two days before, we stood next to each other and sang in worship. Less than a week after, I stood in front of his casket and sang again.

Raising four sons in a Christian home, my husband and I tried to make church a regular part of our lives. Even more, we tried to make worship something that we didn’t just do at church. And while worship is about so much more than music, music often played a part in our worship. We danced to Christian worship songs. VBS and its music were consistent parts of our summers. Veggie Tales music played on our television, and Christian radio played in our car.  

In the days following Brandon’s death, worship was not hard. I didn’t worship because I wanted to worship. I worshipped because I was compelled to worship. It was as if God was pulling me so close that I had no alternative but to bow. So, I did, face down in front of my son’s casket, perhaps more humbly and honestly than ever in my life. 

But, in the days and months after, as I struggled through the fog of grief, as my mind reeled from the reality of it all, as I pulled myself out of the Lord’s embrace and began asking the “whys” and arguing the “what ifs,” worship became harder. Music became a double-edged sword, speaking to my soul, whispering into places that mere words could not penetrate. 

Every song “spoke” to me, and every song hurt, but worship music was especially difficult. Worship is, after all, to give praise to the One who created me, the One who saved me, the One who gave me my son, and the One who allowed him to be taken away. 

Worship during Sunday morning became excruciating. Even now, there are times that my mouth cannot voice the words. There are times that tears flow down my face. There are times when my knees shake, and my heart breaks, and I want to plug my ears and scream. And in those times, the worst times, when I shut my eyes, and my knuckles turn white from holding myself in place, then, I worship with the only thing I can give at that moment—my presence.

Because even in the hurt, even in the battle, even in my darkest, hardest days, I still know that God is God, and I am not, that He is my Creator, my Redeemer, my Savior, the keeper of my Salvation and the keeper of my son. The Bible tells us that if we don’t worship Him, the rocks will.

So, how do I worship when worship hurts? I remember what is right about God instead of what is wrong with me, and like the Nike slogan says, I “just do it,” because God alone is worthy, and God alone deserves my praise.


Tricia K. Brown is an author, teacher, and speaker. For 26 years she has worked as an editor and freelance writer for organizations and individuals including the United Methodist Church, Mailbox magazines, breast cancer specialist Judy C. Kneece, RN, OCN, and psychiatrist and best-selling author, Ari Kiev. Through her business, The Girls Get Together, Tricia shares stories of life, loss, and laughter to encourage women in their walks with the Lord and each other. Connect with her on Facebook or on her website, where you can subscribe to her free weekly newsletter.

Listen!

When we were kids, I don't remember my mother ever telling us to be quiet or to shut up. She always said--with varying levels of intensity, "Listen!"

I remember driving home from our grandparents house one time. I was probably in 5th grade. Something came on the radio--news mom wanted to hear--and the 2 or 3 or 4 of us in the back of the car were being, well, kids. We were noisy. (This is before the days of DVD players in cars or tablets and phones. Yes, I'm an old dude.)

I have no idea what was so important, but she was insistent: LISTEN! (Probably the 14th time she had to say it.)

I wonder if her word to us kids was a shadow of what God is is calling all of His kids to do.

LISTEN!

Listen, first, to our Heavenly Father. He has so much to say, all which is better than anything we could hear from someone else. Anyone else.
     Listen to Him by reading the scriptures with an open ear. (He who has ears to hear, let him hear...)
     Listen to Him by the promptings in your mind and heart. If you sense you should do something godly, there's a good chance God gave you that sense. Make the phone call. Send the text. Stop and help.
     Listen to Him by listening to those in your faith community. If you hear something that you disagree with, spend time understanding better before you respond in any way.

Can I just pause here to say that for most of my life I've been terrible at this? I have a habit of listening to the people I want to, but not to the people I don't agree with.

I'm learning a great deal about this from my pastor (aka boss). I'm not sure the best way for you to learn, but I know there's a book that has served him really well. In fact, he just walked the whole staff through a session he created that was inspired by the book. So check out Thanks for the Feedback.

And maybe you'll hear the Father's voice coming from the front seat...

Listen!

A Tribute to Bob Kinser

What follows is a tribute to my brother-in-law, Bob Kinser. Pictured here with his dad and me, Bob died tragically on Monday, September 9, 2019. It is also a tribute to Jesus. My hope in posting it here is that it will be a way to remember my friend Bob. My prayer is that these words might open up our eyes to the way Jesus sees us. Regardless of when you read, would you pause at the end and pray for my wife Jackie, who just had to bury her brother, and their father, Melvin, who has lost his only son? Thank you.

Jesus would have loved hanging out with Bob.

Maybe better said, Jesus loved hanging out with Bob. 

Seriously.

Jesus loved to have fun, and no one had fun—that I know, anyway—like Bob Kinser. Jesus laughed a lot. He was fun to be around. And Jesus loved to be around people who were fun to be around.

One of the biographers of His life described it this way:

The Son of Man [that’s just a nickname for Jesus]… The Son of Man feasts and drinks and you say, “He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of…” let’s just say Jesus was a friend of the people that self-righteous people didn’t like.

Jesus loved hanging out with Bob.

How do I know Jesus was fun to be around? Because of the way he LOVED kids! Just like Bob. Have you ever known anyone who loved kids as much as Bob did?

You may have heard this story from one of Jesus’ first followers, a doctor named Luke:

Some people brought their little children for Jesus to bless. But when his disciples saw them doing this, they told the people to stop bothering him. So Jesus called the children over to him and said, “Let the children come to me! Don’t try to stop them. People who are like these children belong to God’s kingdom. You will never get into God’s kingdom unless you enter it like a child!”

You know another reason Jesus loved hanging out with Bob?

Because Bob LOVED animals. Oh, those dogs. From Butch when he was a kid to the, what was it—like 17 dogs living with him when he died? Bob loved dogs. Not justdogs, but especiallydogs.

I can imagine Jesus being out on the boat with Bob when he would take Pete, the Labrador Retriever who loved to swim, out on the river in Petersburg. The wind blowing in Jesus’ long hair and Bob’s… well, mostly bald head. And Bob loving his dog and Jesus thinking, “I remember when Dad and I thought up how much Labs would love water.” Imagine, Jesus watching Bob, made in the image of God, loving an animal made by the imagination of God.

But Jesus also loved hanging out with Bob because Bob HATED injustice. Some of you… okay, most of you could tell a story or two about when Bob would lose his ever-loving mind over some act of injustice. Someone didn’t get treated right at work, or in a restaurant, or anywhere… and Bob would be furious. Not at the person as much as the injustice. (Though sometimes it was hard to tell the difference.) Jesus is a fan of justice too.

In fact, one of my favorite Bible verses was written by one of Jesus’ original disciples. It says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His justice, and He will give you everything you need.”

One more. Jesus loved hanging out with Bob because Bob loved to help people. All people. Didn’t matter about skin color, income level, education, or age. He loved helping kids, teenagers, and adults of every age. Bob had the heart — the giant heart — of a servant. And Jesus is a fan of servants. 

You may know this, but Jesus said of himself that even Hedidn’t come to be served but to serve. And to give His life as a ransom for many.

It’s that last line I want to finish up with.

Jesus came to give his life as a ransom for many.

You know... ransom. The money paid to set a prisoner free.

For anyone who feels like — or believes themself to be — a prisoner to guilt, shame, addiction, hopelessness, or anything else, I want to tell you some good news. Jesus died a criminal’s death so you could live a free person’s life. He gave His life as a ransom for your freedom.

Sure Jesus loved to hang out with Bob. We all did. But Jesus loved Bob more than that. He loved him so much that He came to earth as a helpless baby, grew up in the dusty streets of Palestine, wandered around the Middle East as a homeless preacher, and then was killed by religious leaders who couldn’t see that God was walking among them.

Friends, I would hate for you to miss what they missed. Jesus is here. He’s hanging out with us, too. He loves you, too. And if you’ve never thought about the idea that Jesus loves you and loves to be with you, maybe before you leave Bob’s story behind, it’s time to talk with someone.

As one of my favorite Bible teachers says, “Jesus makes life better, and He makes you better at life.” If you’re looking for a way to make life better and ways to be better at life, following the teachings of Jesus is the best way I know how.

Worship Pastor -- a Good Job Title?

About a decade ago, while looking for a church to serve in the ministry of music/worship, I had an interview with a prospective committee. It was a great interview. God moved in the middle of it. We laughed, and we cried, and we talked for a long time.

One of the questions they asked was especially interesting to me.

"What's the difference between a Minister of Music and a Worship Pastor?"

I've thought of that conversation dozens of times. While the difference could be under-stated or over-stated, I'd like to take a quick minutes to talk about why I think of myself as a worship pastor--and hope that those of you in similar positions, regardless of your official title, might do the same.

Why?

As a worship pastor, I find that the more I pastor people between Sundays, the better I can pastor people on Sundays.

By pastoring people, I mean caring for them. Checking in. Spending time outside of rehearsals and services. Shepherding their souls. I love getting to do this.

And how do I pastor people on Sundays?

I think of it in three ways:
   Pastoring people on the stage;
   Pastoring moments from the stage;
   Pastoring people from the stage.

While I certainly have a role to play as a worship leader for all of the people in the room, my primary "flock" is the folks I share the stage with--band, vocals, choir, and those in the tech booth. For those closest to me, I must pray. I seek to know what's happening in their lives. While I'm not their pastor, for many of these folks I'm more of a pastor to them than our senior pastor is. What a beautiful burden!

Also, while I guide the congregation through a worship gathering, there are likely to be a few moments. High praise, joy. Tender worship, intimacy. Transitions in need of a guide. These moments are like fences, brooks, and verdant pastures a shepherd would walk his sheep through. Those moments need pastoring.

And then, as second fiddle to the preacher for sure, I want to pastor the people in the room from the stage. To love them with song selection, and textual expression. To catch the eye of a struggler in the lyric of comfort.  To smile a look of hope to the man struggling to hold his marriage together. This is a beautiful part of my job. I delight to pastor the people from the stage. This horizontal dynamic in worship is priceless.

How about you? If you are the lead pastoral musician in your church, how else do you think of your worship leader as a pastor? If you are among those being led in worship, how do you experience this sort of pastoring?

Needy Much?

I'll start with a confession: I walk into too many rooms needy. Needy of affirmation, or on my unhealthier days, admiration. I'm sorry. It's just true.

I walk into too few rooms needed. Not because of what I have to offer but because of Who I have to offer, Christ in me. (see Colossians 1:27)

This happens when I’m with my peers, my team at work, and my family. On my worst days, even in the meetings and rehearsals I’m charged with leading. 

Please don’t hear me say there aren’t times we stand in need of community—the balm of Godly relationships. Of course those times come. And only our arrogance keeps us from surrendering our needs to those who can meet them. 

I am saying that when we start each week with worship and each day with the Word of life, Jesus through the Scriptures, we will more often be a source of life than a sucker of it.

You may have skipped over those words, reading on auto-pilot. Slow down with me for a moment.

When we start each week with worship—not church attendance, singing, and note taking during sermons. I mean worship: entering the presence of the King of the universe. Sitting at the feet of the Savior. Sensing the power of the Holy Spirit. Caught up in the wonder of the One Who created you, redeemed you, and sustains you. Worship.

And I mean: being with Jesus through the Bible. Not just reading to out of duty, but reading with an awareness that the Author is sitting with you ready to show you things you’ve never seen before. That He may remind you of things you need to have in your consciousness. 

Oh, and when you pray--not because you're supposed to, but because you get to sit with the One who knows the future you're uncertain of, who loves you more than those you love the most, and who wants to hear your heart.

Then our needs get met and we can focus on meeting the needs of others.

Time for me to go "practice what I preach."