Now that hurt!

Her words cut me deeply. They weren't meant to be insulting, I know. But when we sat down in the cafeteria for lunch after the service, I wanted to talk with everyone at our big table, a "10 top." It was noisy. There were many folks stopping by the table to talk with me--people from the worship ministry. The ministry I'm charged to lead. 

This sweet lady and her wheelchair-bound teenage daughter started to leave. I apologized for not getting to spend a few minutes getting to know them. And then she spoke the words that still cut deeply today, more than a year later:

"It's okay. You need to spend time with your music people."

Do you see why her words were wounding?

I don't lead music people in worship. 

Music people--of whom I am one--lead God's people in worship. 

If I don't know the people I'm leading in worship, I can't lead them well. 

And yet I justify myself, "There is so much team building, logistical coordination, spiritual coaching, not to mention just knowing those on the team! How can I lead a team and lead a congregation?"

[Someone else once wanted to justify himself, and Jesus told him the story of the Good Samaritan.]

Honestly, I'm not sure I know how to do this well, but I have a trio of ideas. I'm eager to know what you do, too.

1) Get off the stage. I can't serve the spiritual journey of people I don't know. Individuals. Families. Groups. Even communities. So I need to spend time off the stage and in the rows of seats, meeting people. Then asking them about their story. Rather than retreat to my office or a green room or a huddle of worship leaders, we need to break the huddle and know those we lead.

2) Pastoral Care. My pastor continually encourages me in this direction. When I care for one of the senior adults, I demonstrate that I care for all senior adults. A word of caution--I don't consider this a political calculation. I consider it an extension of Christ-in-me. I think of it as caring for those whom I desire to lead to the throne of grace. They are far more likely to follow me if I love them well.

3) Pray. I need to start each day asking God to provide divine opportunities for me to connect with those in my church. I need to pause each day and ask God to do something magnificent in the lives of folks in my church who are struggling. I need to pause each time I've heard from someone in the church--maybe on the spot--and pray for/with them. And to do this, I need to leave margin in my schedule for this kind of prayerful relationship building.

How do you do this, brothers and sisters? How do you care for the people you lead in worship?

In Other Words: Cross-Generational Worship

In many of our churches there are now 5 distinct generations gathered to worship in the same room. In other words, there's no longer A generation gap, there are MULTIPLE generation gaps.

And sometimes these gaps become massive, gaping holes, over which wars are fought.

Brothers and sisters, this should not be.

One of the things I've started to notice more and more often is how each generation is looking for ways to express the same life-changing truths in ever-changing ways.

This jumped out at me once again recently. On that particular Sunday morning we sang Chris Tomlin's latest "hit," Jesus Loves Me. In order to introduce it to our very inter-generational congregation I paired it with a beautiful congregational setting of the old-school, timeless "Jesus Loves Me." It went really well.

But that's not the part that struck me. The first time I sang Tomlin's new song, I was overcome by the profound nature of the simple phrase, "He is for me." Honestly, overcome isn't strong enough. I was undone. To think that the God who slung stars into space is for me...well, it just astounds me.

And then in a recent Sunday evening service we sang the old hymn, "Have Faith in God." And there it was: "He's on your side."

Same biblical truth. Different generation.

This is part of the beauty and the challenge of cross-generational worship. Every generation wants to learn, know, experience, remember, celebrate, and proclaim Biblical truth in their own way.

And on any given Sunday morning, we have 4 or 5 generations in a service.

What to do?

I don't have all the answers. In fact, I don't have most of the answers. But here are 5 things that have really served our folks well.

1) Repackage hymns. If the melody is singable and the text is accessible, update the harmonies and add modern sounds. We do a repackaged hymn in 90% of our services. This often helps all generations sing in their heart language at the same time. (Click here to read a previous post on the subject, including specific song suggestions.)

2) Use modern hymns. Keith Getty, Stuart Townend, Bob Kauflin and others have been crafting amazing hymns for the modern church. They tend to work well with a rhythm section or a full orchestra. More importantly, they tend to connect with multiple generations.

3) Have multiple generations on the platform leading. When I am standing by a teenager and a grandmother and we lead worship together, we are modeling for the congregation that we can--and should--worship together.

4) Learn new songs. In other words, don't just sing new songs. Help the congregation get familiar enough with the newer songs you introduce that they feel like they can sing it without trying to figure it out. You can't give away what you don't have. If you don't have a song in your mind and heart (by knowing it) then you can't give it to God as an act of worship.

5) Know those you lead. Remember, you are leading people not songs. Pay attention to the way they engage. Do more of what engages them and less of what doesn't. Keep looking for the best songs for YOUR people, which may be different from the songs that are best for MOST people. In our church we sing half a dozen songs that I'm pretty sure very few churches know. But our folks connect their hearts with the heart of God every time we sing them.

One more thought. Let those you are shepherding in on what you're doing. It doesn't have to be a lecture, but with a phrase or a well timed comment, talk about the need each of us has to "own" our faith. Use your own testimony and the testimony of others to describe how that happens with and without singing. One of the lingering learnings I have from a seminary prof seemed like an off-hand comment at the time: "a great teacher's favorite phrase is in other words." So lovingly serve and teach those whom you lead to sing their faith in other words.

I'm curious. What other things do you do that help the generations sing together?

A Benediction

Inspired by Ephesians 1:18...

And now may your hearts be flooded with light so you can see the hope the Father has given to you--to you, His holy people, who are His rich and glorious inheritance. And as you walk in the Spirit, may you understand the incredible greatness of God's power--the same power that raised Christ Jesus from the dead. Amen and amen!

The I in Leadership, Part 4

The last few posts have been about self leadership, the "I" if you will, that needs attention in order to lead optimally.

First we talked about the importance of self leadership, then the ways I'm learning to lead myself spiritually and personally. This time I'd like to talk about how I am leading myself professionally.

Just a reminder, I'm not sharing as a guru but as a learner. The longer I serve in a leadership role, the more convinced I am of the need to take care of and lead myself well. I fail more than I succeed. But I succeed more than I used to. And it is in that spirit that I'd like to tell you three things I'm finding especially helpful about leading myself professionally.

1) I read. There's an adage you may have heard: "Leaders are readers." The more I read, the better I lead. Or perhaps I should be more specific and say, the more I read the right stuff, the better I lead in the right way. Some of the reading I do is because it is what is being "talked about" in the arena of worship leaders. I do it to stay current with my colleagues. Some of the reading I do is because others have suggested it--especially others I respect and want to lead like. My pastor, for example. Or my mentors. And then some of what I read is because I think it will help me get better. I read for pleasure (usually fiction; I love Ted Dekker's novels), I read for development (usually about leadership), and I read for spiritual growth (usually the authors I want to learn from--men and women who are getting it done).

2) I listen. My job is to serve the people in my ministry, my church, and my community. So I ask questions and I listen. When I get differing viewpoints, I do my best to choose what will serve the most people in the best way. When I get consistent answers, even if it goes agains my opinion (not my conviction), I humble myself and serve from that information. I ask my pastor (aka my boss) for feedback. I have the heart of an artist, so this is risky. Chances are, he will say something that hurts a little. But 99 out of 100 times he is right. And if I listen well, and adjust, I will get better. It's worth the pain.

3) I watch. When I'm around people who do what I do--either they work in the church setting generally or in worship ministry specifically--I watch them. I learn from them. I watch what they do that is ineffective and try not to do that. I watch what they do well and try to do that. Sometimes this is very evident--like talking before a song. But more often it is subtle--like the way they talk to someone in the hallway between services, or the way they communicate with facial and body language. I watch the folks I serve on staff with. That's low hanging fruit because we're together most days. I watch others who serve in my community. And when I can, I get to another church and experience a service or a ministry. And I watch like a hawk.

So to get better at what I do professionally, to lead myself in that way, I read, listen and watch. I'm curious: what do you do that helps you keep getting better?

The I in Leadership, part 3

Welcome to the middle of a 4-part series about "self leadership" an area in which I'm hoping to grow this and every year: Spiritual Leadership, Personal Leadership, and Professional Leadership.

I'd like to share a little bit more of what I'm learning about leading myself personally.

First, you should know this is my weakest area of self-leadership. I'm writing out of weakness and failure, not success or strength.

Among my personal goals this year are to be more active, to lose 50 pounds, to love my wife and adult daughters better--given our specific circumstances, to gain control over my calendar, and to meet with at least a dozen people I'd like to learn from.

It's that last part I'd like to share with you, just in case it might serve your journey too.

I asked around, trying to identify worship pastors and pastors that are just a few years ahead of me and doing a great job (I'm nearly 50, so I was looking for anyone older than me but not retired.) I compiled a list from my own network and asked 2 or 3 colleagues that are strongly networked as well. The first two I've contacted are Rory Noland (formerly of Willow Creek, sought after author and speaker) and Mike Harland (head of Lifeway Worship).

I've offered to take them to lunch, ask questions, and listen. Their choice of location. I'm  traveling to where they are, and I'm picking up the tab.

My three questions may be very different from questions you would ask. They are reflective of my own areas that I need to grow in and my stage of life:

   1) How do you lead yourself well? (Especially time management, self-control, etc.)
   2) How can I be a great husband in this season of life? (Entering empty nest)
   3) What makes for a great worship pastor, and how can I take my next step?

How did I arrive at these questions?

Simple, really. I have identified limitations to my own personal development and then crafted questions that I hope will help me break through those barriers.

I do some of the "time management" gimmicks well. I tend to deal with tasks/paper only once, I block out time to do the things that are important to me, I prioritize based on importance more than urgency, etc. And in many areas of my life I exhibit healthy self-control. But not enough areas. And especially at the cross-roads of these two areas, I fail to lead myself well. In other words, if I could exhibit self-control when it comes to my time management, I would lead myself better personally.

My second question comes out of unique circumstances that are too complex to bore you with. Regardless, I think this is an essential question to ask at every transition in life--with no kids, or when kids aren't in school yet, or in school, or teens, or moving out, or entering retirement, etc. Our relationships change as our circumstances change. I want to know how to love my wife like Christ loves the church in THIS season of our marriage.

A huge part of my personal life, because of the nature of my job, is connected to my professional life. It's the nature of ministry. And I love that. But it does make my last question relevant to personal self-leadership as well as professional self-leadership. These folks I'm meeting with know this as well. And I want to learn from them.

Your questions are likely to be quite different from mine, and honestly, I'd love to see them! Why don't you leave a comment and share 2 or 3 questions you'd ask someone who is just a little farther down the path? Better yet, why don't you identify a handful of those folks right now and offer to buy their lunch? Not only will it help you lead yourself well, it will deeply encourage those you invite.

Next time--self-leadership professionally. I'm looking forward to it!

The I in Leadership, Part 2

Last time I shared three areas of "self leadership" in which I'm hoping to grow this and every year: Spiritual, Personal, and Professional.

I'd like to share a little bit more of what I'm learning about leading myself spiritually.

You may be familiar with the classic "spiritual disciplines" like prayer, scripture reading, confession, fasting, etc. I find them most helpfully discussed at length in Richard Foster's book "Celebration of Discipline." I have also learned a great deal from other authors, but as an overview, Foster's book is superb. He divides a dozen different disciplines into three general categories: inward, outward, and corporate. 

The twelve he explores are tremendously inter-related, a reminder that everything we do in our spiritual journey affects the rest of our spiritual journey. This is true of fasting, for example. It's also true of sin. 

The hardest thing for me to remember is that the practice of spiritual disciplines is primarily for these two purposes: "training in righteousness" and intimacy with our Father. 

Training in righteousness is a telling phrase. No basketball player spends time in the weight room so they can be good with weights. They work out on the treadmill or do bicep curls so when they hit the court they can play basketball well. And win. The same is true in our faith. We spend time reading God's word not as an end, but a means to and end. We pray the same way. And submit. And confess. And worship. And meditate.

I want to ever-increasingly do the activities of my faith to increase my faith. I want to train for the battle and actually engage in the battle.

And win.

These things are essential for worship leaders.

In addition to training, we lead ourselves spiritually to increase intimacy with God. A trio of writers that have helped me with this are Ken Gire, John Eldridge, and Max Lucado. If you don't mind reading a Roman Catholic who excelled in this area, check out the writings of Thomas Merton. Amazing stuff.

I'm not sure there's a whole lot I can offer to specifically aid your journey toward intimacy with God. For me it's a matter of posture and attitude. When I read scripture, I place myself under its' authority. That's posture. As I pray, I come to God as His son, not His subject. That's attitude. Perhaps those will inspire better thoughts in your mind.

Back to the bigger picture as we wrap up: Jesus led Himself perfectly. He only did what the Father told Him to do. He was so intimate with His Father that He could say they were "one." And His training in righteousness was effective enough to see Him through the agony of the garden, the anguish of the cross, and to the emptiness of a tomb. He fought and won.

We can too.

Worship Leaders: Leadership starts with ourselves

[A caveat - this post focuses on the human side of spiritual leadership. I don't mean in any way to diminish the spiritual forces at work.]

1 Peter 1:13 says, "prepare your minds for action."

Before we act, we prepare.

Before we lead others, we lead ourselves. There actually is an i in leadership.

Every significant failure I've experienced in leadership was preceded by a failure to lead myself well.

There are at least three ways I want to lead myself better:
   1) Spiritually (especially through wise use of spiritual disciplines)
   2) Personally (my physical body, my role as husband and father)
   3) Professionally (as a pastoral-team member and as a worship leader)

I will expand on each of those in the posts that follow, but here's a quick touch on each.

SPIRITUAL SELF LEADERSHIP
While reading through the Bible this year (for the first time I'm following a chronological plan) I have to remind myself that I'm pursuing intimacy, not an accomplishment. When I pray for people, I remind myself that I'm doing this partly to foster relationships--both with my Father and with those for whom I pray. When I confess, I remember that I'm doing it to humble myself and pursue intimacy, not just to "model" the right behavior.

PERSONAL SELF LEADERSHIPAmong my goals for this year are:
   --getting healthier physically
   --becoming a better husband
   --being a better father to my adult (or very nearly adult) daughters.

In order to reach those goals, I am pursuing the wisdom of men just a few years ahead of me. I've crafted 3 questions to ask them, hoping to lead myself well personally. More about that later.

PROFESSIONAL SELF LEADERSHIP I spend time every week trying to get better at my job. I listen for input and feedback. I read to learn. I write to clarify. I teach others to make sure I'm thinking rightly. I really try to get better every single week.

Still, every time I have failed to lead others well, I can point to the source as a failure to lead myself well in one of those three areas. Conversely, every time I have led others really well, I can attribute it to leading myself well.

And here is an amazing mystery of our faith: it is the grace of God that enables me to lead myself well, blessing that leadership. At the same time it's the grace of God that covers my failures to lead myself well, even using those failures to glorify Him and build His Kingdom.

How about you? Do you experience the joy and frustration of self-leadership and see the connection to your ability to lead others?